I so despise the way that so much of my social development and capacity to form relationships of sexual, friendly, informal and professional natures has been hindered by the situations I’ve been in over the last 18 years. I so desperately want to be normal and I don’t know how. I am intimidated, not of how people will treat me, but by human interaction altogether. Granted, I used to be worse, but I think I will still always find it difficult to befriend the vast majority of new people (the exception literally being one person per million at the very most) and ever form ‘romantic’ relationships both short and long term. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an idiot; I know the rules of the game, it’s just difficulty and involuntary doubt & apprehension in applying them to my own matches.